You know when you become aware of something and then you can't stop seeing it? It was like that. It seemed like a conspiracy. We got into a conversation about it at work. Everybody there had gone to the movies by themselves. I suddenly became the only one that hadn't. I started asking why everyone felt compelled to do this. They were things like: 'no one else wanted to see the movie,' 'I have a weird schedule and no one else could go,' and some people just needed some alone time.
This got me thinking.
There was this weird aversion that I had for doing certain things alone. I love being surrounded by people, and I like to talk and share experiences. That seems healthy. Don't get me wrong, I need a good walk in the woods and sometimes I crave the mysterious pleasure of a summer night under the stars, solo style.
After talking about this for a while at work, someone else walked in and joined the conversation. I asked him if he'd been to the movies by himself. He said he'd been once. I asked him what his reason was. He told me that he had been out of town for work and had had some time to kill. He thought about what to do and just decided to go. "I realized, I'm my own man, dammit."
Just like those summer nights and walks in the woods, going to the movies by yourself is a statement, that speaks of your relationship with yourself. Everyone has ways of taking care of themselves and sometimes that looks like a dark theater with a ticket for one. There is no rule against doing things that are just for you, that might build self-confidence and might be just what the doctor ordered. I know I need other people in my life and I think I'll always be someone who loves a crowd and laughing with someone at a cheesy line in the new Fast and Furious movie. However, it might also improve those relationships if I take some time for myself every so often.
Another thing I realized is that its a bold thing to do something new and uncomfortable and sometimes it helps me see things in a different way; a potentially better way. I think that it might be time to take myself to the movies or find that summer sky to sit under for a while. On the other hand, it might be time to bring someone along to something I've been keeping all to myself.